


Off-World Sex in the Time of Kumquats

by jdjunkie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-16
Updated: 2011-06-16
Packaged: 2017-10-20 11:37:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/212392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jdjunkie/pseuds/jdjunkie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aliens made him and Daniel do it. Well, wacky alien wine. What was their excuse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Off-World Sex in the Time of Kumquats

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to Aliens Made Him Do It, also archived here.

It was early morning. The morning after the night before. Jack, fresh from hours of sucking and fucking with Daniel, was feeling somewhat gung-ho about events. Aliens, after all, had made them do it. The finest of all get out of jail free cards.

“Carter. How went the knitting and jam making etcetera et al?”

“Hi, sir.”

She sounded remarkably laid back and friendly, given how pissed off she’d been last night. This was Carter, after all, who could out-snip Daniel at a hundred paces, given the right conditions. Carter who had been spirited away from the real fun by the village virgins. If looks could have killed when she was being led away, Jack would have dropped dead on the spot, which would have been a shame because he wouldn’t have gotten to know that Daniel liked his balls sucked not pulled, that his “I’m coming” face was unbearably hot and that his toes curled when he did come.

Carter was ... smiling.

This was spooky.

“So ... don’t leave us in suspense. Tell all,” Jack pressed.

Daniel sat down beside Jack in the Great Hall and pushed a plate of fruit towards him. Carter sat on the bench opposite them both. Still smiling.

“How was _your_ night?” she asked, pulling off her cap and running a hand through her hair. Slowly, almost languidly. Kind of sexily ... and he really had to stop thinking that because this was Carter and she’d rip his balls off if she knew what he was thinking.

Jack cleared his throat and tried not to glance sideways at Daniel. “Fine. Lots of dancing. We left when the horizontal tango started in earnest.”

Daniel choked on an alien kumquat. Jack slapped him on the back, only just resisting the urge to run his hand up the back of his neck and play with the hair at the nape. He’d done that last night and Daniel had ... squirmed in a delightful way.

“Good job you didn’t drink the wine, sir,” Carter said, putting the cap back on her head and adjusting the peak.

“You heard about the wine?” Daniel asked, delicately spitting out an alien kumquat pip.

“Wyra told me.” And Carter smiled some more.

“Wyra, eh?” Jack wanted to know more about someone who could make Carter say a name in that wistful kind of way.

“She was a sort of house mother to the young women. Looked after their needs. Very kind and gentle. Very ... experienced.”

Jack knew he wasn’t imagining the piercing look he was getting from Daniel. He just didn’t dare look at him in return.

“Well. I guess they need someone with experience to look after a group of young women. All those hormones and feelings and ... things,” Daniel said. To Jack’s ears, Daniel’s voice wasn’t all that steady.

“She definitely knew what she was doing. Quite a remarkable woman, actually.” Carter’s eyes were misty and soft. Jack squirmed.  Had those virgins sent back a pod-Carter? A smiley, soft-eyed, soft-voiced, relaxed, pod-Carter?

“Hey, Teal’c, buddy. Good to see you? Have a fine time with the military guys? Lots of bonding over strategy?” Jack had never been so relieved to see his teammate as he was at that precise moment.

Teal’c sauntered over to their table. Teal’c never sauntered. “Indeed I did. Lenok was most ... instructive.” And then Teal’c smiled. And then Jack _did_ turn to Daniel, who had given up battling the alien kumquat and was staring open-mouthed at Carter and Teal’c.

Jesus.   _Aliens_ made him and Daniel do it. Well, wacky alien wine. What was _their_ excuse? Time to put an end to this ... whatever it was.

“Daniel, dial us up.”

Daniel put down the alien banana he’d been toying with. “But we’re not due to leave until ...”

“Oh, I think we’re way overdue a frost-coated trip through the wormhole.” Seemed like everyone’s ardour needed cooling, not least his, given what Daniel was doing with that red banana-thingy.

“I’m going to call Janet when we get home,” Carter said excitedly to Teal’c as they gathered up their belongings and made for the exit with undue haste.

“I believe there are matters I need to discuss with Major Davis,” Teal’c replied.

Jesus.

Jack picked up a red banana-thingy and did his best not to fellate it as he mentally worked on his mission report. “Met aliens, danced a bit, went to bed early.”

Hammond would never a suspect a thing.

 

ends


End file.
